Everyone's An Addict

My name is Ari, and I’m an addict. The details of my addition are moot, and not the point of this piece. Whatever specific substance, behavior, or situation causes a chemical reaction in the pleasure center of my brain such that I achieve a temporary pleasure which later is compulsively sought again and again is fodder for the grotesque and would distract from what I wish to accomplish here. Now, I understand that this public admission, bereft of details as it is, may not be sufficient to gain the trust of you, my dear reader. You are entitled to call me a coward or non-committal for not revealing the specifics, but it doesn't make any thing I'm about to say any less true.

Addiction has given me trouble for quite some time, in my daily life and conceptually. Many people I’ve encountered in my life have suffered from obvious and some much less obvious addictions and have candidly shared at least parts of those experiences. But I believe that there are many more people I know suffering silently with addiction, too ashamed to speak about it or ask for help. In writing this, I am attempting to transition from the silent sufferer to the open and honest addict because I believe that is where the solution lies.

An Attempt to Define Addiction

Paulo Zerbato - fineartamerica.com

As defined by the Medical Dictionary, addiction is: “a persistent, compulsive dependence on a behavior or substance.” It isn’t simply engaging with a particular vice. That's the first step, but eventually it develops into a psychological surrender into believe the substance or action has control of you instead of the other way around. In addition to the traditional usual suspects of substance addiction like illicit drugs, alcohol, and smoking, several other forms of addiction are just as prevalent and on the rise including: prescription drugs; internet, smart phone, and social media use; television; pornography; sex; video games; shopping; eating disorders (both over and under eating); gambling; sleep; working; making money; and broadly, ego elevation.



Looking from the outside it's tough to differentiate whether someone is an addict or a user. After all, there's nothing wrong with shopping, eating, having sex, or working, in fact, they are generally essential activities for survival. Through the act of our body chemistry rewarding these actions with a hit of dopamine we are by our own nature subject to dependence on these outside stimuli, and this was an integral part of our biological design which allowed our species survive and procreate and thrive. Better put, all these addictive vices, for lack of a more accurate word, have a benefit.

So... What's the Problem?

The trouble we're having is that this system was vital for survival only up through around our hunter-gatherer phase of societal evolution. But as soon as we started with mass agriculture and domesticating animals and living in cities where structural systems bring us many of our basic needs to survive, the dopamine reward system became disconnected from the behaviors it was meant to encourage. Instead of eating to survive, we're now eating excessive quantities to get a dopamine hit. Instead of sexual release to procreate we're doing it for a recreational dopamine hit. Our society, and our self-awareness, have since progressed to the point where we're now spending most of our time essentially dopamine hacking our brains, figuring out how to short-circuit the reward system so that we can pursue the dopamine as opposed to the essential behaviors. These vices I listed are simply the common ways we've found to do that.

We do still want to encourage certain behaviors that ensure we eat enough food every day, that we get enough sleep, that we continue to be motivated to get better and keep the species alive, so that reward system is still essential to our survival. But it needs to be balanced such that we aren't being too counter productive with our actions to where we're merely pursuing the internal drug hit.

So how do you know if you are engaging with these vices for survival or simple recreation versus in an addictive way? Well, there are several warning signs: doing it secretly, increasing tolerance and decreasing enjoyment, associating with negative consequences, withdrawal symptoms, inability to stop or control the behavior, and a feeling that it's something you should stop. If you regularly feel some or all of these symptoms regarding a specific behavior, you are probably an addict of some level.

The Problem Is Widespread

More and more people make little jokes here and there about being a Netflix addict, or addicted to coffee. But I think there is a serious underlying issue here that should be brought to light. It is very difficult to gauge exactly how many people have reached this stage, but my (admittedly non-data based) guess is that majority of people are addicted in some way to at least one of the vices I’ve mentioned, perhaps somewhere between 50-90 percent of American adults. Despite this, many addictions are not completely or immediately destructive to the rest of our lives. Most people who are addicts don't necessarily look like addicts at a cursory glance, and they are usually still able to hold a job and maintain relationships. Many drug users, or people with eating disorders or users of any of the vices are successfully able to hide it, sometimes even from their closest friends, family, and even their partners. The trouble is that it we are collectively miserable because of it.

Has It Always Been like this?

No, I don't believe it has. But, I wasn't around even a generation ago so it's hard to say what things were like then. There are three primary societal changes which I attribute to creating a more addiction-prone environment: increased access, personal isolation, and increased stress levels.

Factor 1: Access

I don’t think anyone will argue that access to most of these vices has increased dramatically for the average person around the globe in the last 50 years. The internet and globalization have made all sorts of products and experiences more accessible in more places. Which isn’t to say that the solution is any sort of government ban or prevention of access. Removing these items from society is simply not practical as we’ve witness with the massive failure of the “War On Drugs”. Demand for these products is what drives supply and if banned will instead create a more dangerous supply black market while sometimes even increasing demand. Further, in the right doses all these vices have something useful to offer. It would be extremely narrow-minded to lock away those benefits in what will surely be a failed attempt to prevent addiction.

However, the truly disturbing part of the access element is the widespread and immoral commercialization of these vices. While it's true that you can't blame a restaurant for feeding someone with an overeating disorder, the actions and the intentions of the businesses do matter. For years and still to this day tobacco companies knowingly continue to produce and sell a product that is both intentionally addictive and physically harmful to their customers. Yet they actively continue to search for new customers to sell their harmful products to and grow their business. They have engaged in misinformation campaigns and public relations campaigns so that people don't realize what is happening, but the companies perpetrating this business know exactly what they're doing. The trouble is the tobacco companies are just as addicted to making money – it is the company executive's job, the basis of their livelihood to ensure their company makes as much profit as possible. It's a vicious cycle of addiction causing addiction.

Jessica Gurell / Georgia Public Broadcasting

Most companies understand their sales demographics, who their customers are and why they're buying. These companies who engage in the sale of vice surely know what percentage of their customers are addicted and ultimately being harmed by their product. However, it is undeniably good for business to have addicted customers. Many design their products to be as addictive as possible without attempting to address or mitigate the harm they cause.

I suppose this all goes with the free enterprise territory, but it often feels like a predatory state of business. I don’t know when doctors decided that the more drugs they prescribe the better society will be. I don’t know when the objective of the television executive and news producer transitioned from entertaining and informing to keeping the most eyeballs on the screen at whatever cost to ethics and programming quality. I suppose it was naturally dictated by the advertisement dependent business model. Clicks and view counts have become the economic currency of the internet.

I am not attempting to solve these economic issues in this piece, nor am I saying that their emergence is the root of all evil. I merely want to convey that businesses have a financial incentive to generate and fuel addiction to their products and, on the whole, most don’t have any overriding ethical principle that refuses to exploit their customers’ addictive tendencies. So far, any potential related liabilities or accountability has been an insufficient deterrent. It's a 'profits first, derive morality later' mindset. Every supplier could argue that there is a demand for their product and thus, if it wasn't them, someone else would be doing it. Which is fair on some level, but the lack of ethics is problematic to say the least.

Factor 2: Isolation

Aside from access, another major societal change generating a more addicted society is an increased level of isolation. There have been many small steps from work life to family life and everything in between where interactions have grown increasingly less personal and more isolated.

I find – despite the advice I received as a child about the dangers of succumbing to it – that peer pressure is a positive thing more often than not (I suppose it depends what sort of people you hang out with). The biggest trouble with isolation is that it helps conceal and nurture addiction. Addiction grows in the shadows in the same way that bacteria in a petri dish grows better in the dark than in the daylight. I don't want to be worse than people I see regularly. If my flatmates see that I've just been sitting home watching TV all day, I usually feel a little embarrassed or ashamed. That is a good thing. By comparing myself and staying in close contact with my peers I am motivated to be a better more productive person.

Several experts have theorized that alcoholism and addictive tendencies are something that can be inherited through the generations as it were a matter of genetics. I generally agree that susceptibility can be inherited, though I am uncertain that it is exclusively a genetic matter. I think it is true that whatever issues your parents experienced, whatever social disconnect they have can easily be passed down through the nurturing process. I believe in many cases of addition you will find histories of abuse, trauma, shame, isolation and other things which bring us long-term mental and physical pain. Those behaviors, like genes are often passed down between the generations as well.

Factor 3: Stress

I have been living and travelling in many different places around the globe all over the world for the last two years, and I have yet to find a country with as stressed a population as the United States. This could certainly be a case of traveler's bias, though there is some data to support my idea. In 2018 the US ranked 7^th overall in the world, and stress levels have been trending higher over the last decade. Everything is louder, and bigger, and more serious. The country is filled with many great hard working principled people, but there is just not nearly enough chill. From this comes an increased need to bring it back down. To manage the adrenaline and anxiety. And that's when these vices come into play. Even as early as our teen years we start experimenting with these various vices, and stumble into something that makes us feel good, if only for a little while. It dulls the pain, it quiets the mind. Sometimes that develops into an unhealthy dependence and addiction.

What Is the Cause?

So our environment has allowed these things to flourish, but they are not the cause. Why do some people have a beer after work to relax and it's not a problem, but for others it becomes a habit and then an addiction? In essence, addicts suffer from unmet needs that life has been able to provide, whether that is relief from some sort of pain or fear, whether that is a higher fulfillment or purpose, basic survival needs, or something else entirely. That part is different for everyone.

We learned from the Rat Park experiments (I LOVE this video just to watch Tucker Carlson's mind getting blown. There's almost this blissful expression that comes over him when he hears the description of rat heaven) that the overall fulfillment of an environment is a bigger determinant to addiction that the mere presence of vices, at least in rats. Instead our current society is full of vice and devoid of serious connection and fulfillment.

If you were to honestly answer about our best memories of your life so far, I think almost everybody would recall situations when they felt connected to someone else, or part of group that accomplished something. These are the moments where life really seems valuable and worth it, and doesn't require any particular external stimuli that triggers the dopamine reaction. Those are the experiences that we're regularly lacking, and that leaves us yearning and miserable. Instead of constructing an environment where it is possible to feel connected and thrive, we are more surrounded by vice, we are more detached and isolated from people, and we are more stressed out then ever. This is why so many are seek immediate comfort in these vices and end up addicts.

We've Identified the Problem. Now what?

Well, we need to start building a society that people actually find fulfilling. However, that is a project with a humongous scope, one a little too big to answer in this piece. I can offer a few suggestions though to someone in a stage of addiction to help prevent or manage these addictions. Note that all of the suggestions revolve around staying connected with other people. 

Keep It Legal -- As a society we need to vote for policies that keeps these behaviors legal. Making these behaviors illegal and criminalizing people for engaging with them stigmatizes the person and the behavior. It pushes users closer to other types of criminals (not a particularly supportive group of people, on the whole), further away from people they are connected to, and further away from people that can help with their problems. Attempting to combat supply through bans and ban enforcement is almost always a waste of time and resources. It is a typical reaction to a symptom which ignores the root cause, like so many policies do. Legalizing marijuana is a start, but we need a full decriminalization of drugs and other activities which do not harm others. 

Come Clean -- If you believe you are dealing with any type of addiction, tell someone about what you're going through. Nobody wants to admit they are an addict. It’s not a flattering title. It’s not something to brag about. It is admission of weakness, susceptibility, and lack of agency. Nobody likes to highlight their deficiencies and the worst parts of themselves. It seems like an embarrassing shameful thing to tell your partner, your family or friends or lovers about your struggle, but it helps. More often than not, at least in the longer term, your confession will be met with compassion and someone willing to help rather than condemnation and shame. That doesn't mean the problem is now theirs, addicts must still be responsible for their own behavior. But those closest to you are the ones who are most likely to help, so call in the favor and see if they will. Making other people aware of your problems will help you get past the social shame so you can start dealing with the problem at hand.

If your immediate friends and family aren't up for the task or you don't have a strong social support network, – and sometimes it can be a really big commitment which requires a lot of support so that needs to be respected – there are plenty of support groups which can be found online and in local communities. Google can help you find them. Pretty neat how the internet can be both a source of addiction and a helpful resource for recovery. Technology is like that. 

Make Your Vices Social -- Often times the difference between a user of alcohol and an abuser of alcohol, is who they drink with. Before drinking, way back in high school, our friend group made a rule that we would never drink alone. This was an attempt to ensure that none of us would become alcoholics and to reinforce that we were doing it for social reasons. While we thought drinking might be fun, and experimenting with new things often is, we were definitely aware of parents or peers who drank with no self-control and subsequently led what appeared to be awful wretched lives. These people were not our idols, and we wanted to avoid ending up like them.

By some miracle this philosophy has not been corrupted or violated in the 17 years since I first took a drink of alcohol. Today I feel no addiction toward alcohol, and although I drink on a weekly basis, I never crave alcohol. I never use it to solve problems, and I never believe it will. Sure, I might say “I need a beer right now” after a particularly trying day of work, but what I really mean is, “Friend, let’s relax together and talk while doing this social activity.”

Conclusion

Obviously, this hasn't saved me from all potential addictions. But I have noticed that my addictive behavior is most prevalent when I am by myself, isolated. In those times I find myself seeking low-return short-lived brain stimulation that prevents me from accomplishing other life goals. This type of activity makes me feel like I am absolutely wasting my life and as soon as it is over I have common feelings of shame and regret. All of it frequently justified with classic internal bargaining phases like, “Ok, just this last time and then that's it.” So far, it's still hasn't been the last time.

Yet, there is still plenty to be hopeful about for me and other addicts. Overall attitudes about addiction are starting to change, and government policies more and more are beginning to reflect this new view of addiction. Societies are learning that in the past considerably more resources have been invested in getting people addicted and very little has been invested into helping people live fulfilling lives. But that will start to change as awareness increases.

If you're struggling, never forget that mental control over an addiction is always possible, even if the temptation is always present. It is possible to de-prioritize. Many addicts have found a way to recovery from a state which seemed impossible. In that process recovering addicts learn unique insights about human nature and grow a resiliency that others never get a chance to experience. Hopefully some of this information can help you or someone you know, and I wish everyone strength on whatever journey they are on. Hopefully we can start taking steps to getting our needs fulfilled in healthy ways and through meaningful connects.